V-Day, loving & metta

Valentine's Day – when the wild birds traditionally choose their mate.

And today also is the 1 Billion Rising event worldwide to draw attention to and show solidarity with the of vast numbers of women and children who are raped, abused and killed each year. Later today I will join my local dancers in the town.

The emailed quote from Tricycle Buddhist mag is I think worth posting today ('metta' is lovingkindness, or compassion):

Lovingkindness
   
'The practice of lovingkindness is, at a certain level, the fruition of all we work toward in our meditation. It relies on our ability to open continuously to the truth of our actual experience, not cutting off the painful parts, and not trying to pretend things are other than they are. Just as spiritual growth grinds to a halt when we indulge our tendency to grasp and cling, metta can’t thrive in an environment that is bound to desire or to getting our expectations met.'

Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein, 'Commit to Sit: Metta'

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Given that Valentine's Day, even when we know it's primarily a consumerfest, still sets us and our loved ones up to fail through expectations, I want to add to this post Oriah Mountain Dreamer's 6 points to bear in mind around this whole thing of romantic love, from her Valentine's Day blog: http://oriahsinvitation.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/lessons-in-love-learned-hard-way.html

Here they are:
First lesson: Coerced expressions of affection don’t mean much (whether by ourselves, another or by eg consumer/public/personal/interpersonal expectations – my addendum)

Second lesson: Don’t expect others to read your mind. If you’d like something, ask.

Lesson three: Do not assume the other wants you to do for them what you would like them to do for you. When in doubt (again)  – ask!

Lesson four: Never underestimate the power of small gestures to help bridge the times when life’s challenges may dampen passion's spontaneous combustion.

Lesson number five (which took me a decade to really get): When someone shows you who they are and how they live their life, believe them.

Final lesson: Love is precious and life-sustaining. Don’t quibble. Celebrate it wherever and whenever you can – even on Valentine’s Day.

So, folks, here's to love – that great and necessary imponderable...